Funny FAQ's

1. Is it true that the packaging machine used in the factory is made up of stripped parts from an old DeLoren?
Yes, this is true. Barry originally purchased the parts to build a time machine but failed miserably.
2. If I were to line up Broderick bars from Coolock to the Moon, how many bars would I need?
You’d need approximately 4.3 billion. Roughy the same amount Bernard has snacked on since we making delicious Broderick’s bars.
3. Is it true that you in pre-production for a movie called “The Bournville Ultim-ate-em” with Pat Damon?
Absolutely. It was a $250m Hollywood blockbuster that was derailed when the producer spent the entire budget on Broderick’s bars.
4. What do Romans do when they are not in Rome?
They roam around other places.
5. Is it true that you only have western style saloon doors throughout the Broderick’s kitchens because of Barry’s love for John Wayne?
Yes, but not funny when the guy behind you is carrying a tray full of Broderick’s..
6. Do you actually know Mr. Slugworth, was he really as mean as it was made out to be, or was it just the pro-western press using their influence.
Yes, it was all press. Its always the press.
7. Has the EU development fund contributed to the rocky roads?
All we can say is that chocolate was just resting in our account.
8. Does Barry actually work for Bernard and the whole partnership thing is just made up to make Barry feel good about himself?
Each brother thinks the other works for them.
10. Which is the highest scoring bar in scrabble?
Rocky Road if you spell out the ingredients. Its got marshmallows.
11. Is it true that you in pre-production for a movie called “Bar Wars IV- a new Sticky Wicky Coat”?
Yes, and George Lucas ain’t happy about that.
12. Did Bernard come last in a Mr. Paraguay contest while searching the world for new exciting ingredients to include?
Yes, he was robbed!
13. What's worse than a bumpy road?
A Rocky Road... get it because of our bars!!
Whoever buys you the most Broderick’s bars.
14. Has anyone on your bakery tour ever got beamed into a TV or got sucked up a chocolate pipe like Augustus Gloop?
Yes, those crazy events in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory happen all the time in real chocolate factories like ours.
15. Has Belgium’s performance in the world cup influenced your decision to keep buying chocolate there?
Absolutely not. You have to give it to the Belgians, they make great chocolate…
16. Did Barry repeat 6th class 3 times?
That is totally and utterly untrue. He repeated 4 times.
17. Is it true that Luis Suarez once bit a Tiff Toff in the Tuffen?
Yes, his taste bud went insane after a Tiff Toff in the Tuffen hence why he bit the Italian defender.
18. Are Rocky Roads available under Obamacare?
Yes, the perfect cure for any ailment.
19. Is it true that Chilly Brr Slippy Slices are the only things keeping Ireland in the Eurozone?
Yes, the Germans wanted to kick us out until they sampled the tasty winter slice.
20. Is Rocky Road now in NAMA?
Virtually, every Rocky Road we produce helps pay off national debt.
21. Will there ever be a Broderick Brother who can swim faster than a shark?
Bernard can. He has some hidden talents that would surprise including balancing a chair on his chin.
22. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood…?
Good point.
23. Is there really a concept bar called Rocky Road 4G that can be eaten 10 times quicker than the current 2014 model, so that you don’t get caught mid face stuffing in the kitchen when you said you were just getting a glass of water.
Yes, but you have to eat it like a duck. Its designed to be swallowed whole.
24. If a rocky road was flattened out could it really stretch from Nassau Street to Stephens green?
The scientists will say technically yes. But why would you want to do that? As Michael Jackson said, “Just eat it”.
25. Did you ever consider relocating your factory to Mallow in Cork?
Yes, we have thought about building a factory close to all those marshmallow trees that grow there.
26. Is it true more tiffin’s are eaten by Kerry people than any other nation, race or county in the world?
Yes, Broderick’s are very popular in the kingdom. Hence why they have so many All Ireland championships.
27. Given Broderick’s is the only Irish flapjack sold on an aeroplane, does that make it the fastest Irish bar ever made?
True according to our R&D department.
28. In the winter of 1982, is it true that it got so cold that Ina rolled out a 6ftx6ft short crust pastry to use as a super insulating duvet for the boys to stay warm?
Yes, that is when it all started for the Broderick’s Brothers. They got a taste for their mammy’s baking and never looked back.
29. Is the glass in your factory really glass or is it glazed sugar?
Its glazed sugar. Tuck in if your hungry.
30. Are you and Barry campaigning for a 5-a-day government supported initiative to eat more chocolate?
True True. Chocolate makes everyone feel better. It will be the cornerstone of government policy for the next election.
31. Is it really impossible to eat a Broderick’s Nutty Crunchie Caramel Munchie while reciting the Irish constitution?
Yes, it impossible. However, it is possible to eat chocolate engraved with the Irish constitution.
32. If you and Barry were TV detectives would you be more Cagney and Lacey or Kojack or Magnum PI or Jessica Fletcher, I’d bet Barry would be Jessica Fletcher.
More like Chief Wiggum and Lou.
33. Is it true Bernard proposed to and was turned down by Catherine, duchess of Cambridge, before she met William?
He turned her down.
34. Do your cars / vans run on sugar or diesel?
Neither, if you look below the cab you’ll see two feet powering our trucks and vans…
35. Do you constantly have sticky fingers?
You bet. Its got us into many sticky situations.
36. Is it true that in 1979 when pope JPII was in Dublin, Ina had the boys baptised in chocolate?
First, let’s all agree that Pope JPII was the best of the Pope JPs. Secondly, yes, it was a tasty secret bapitism.
37. Given all the Broderick boys are over 6ft in height, do you think that chocolate has been the key ingredient; if it is I was wondering have any other lengthening properties been achieved in different areas ….fingers for instance.
Yes, all tall boys but tiny feet. One of the unknown side affects of chocolate.
38. Which county provides the most trust worthy people to look after the cakes after they are ready to eat?
None. Our factory has Irish bakers, Polish security to watch the Irish bakers, and German undercover agents to watch Polish security. They Broderick’s bars still go missing…
39. How many tiffs will tiff toff in the tiffen if toff tiffs in the toffen?
Good point.
40. Will your products give me superpowers and if so will these powers include enhanced baking abilities?
Yes, they give unusual superpowers. For example, the ability to mimic perfectly, the ability to talk to animals, and yes, the ability to bake delicious cakes.
41. Can the goo in Gooey Ooozy Chocolatey Solid Brick be described by classical Newtonian physics or quantum theory?
According to the Broderick’s R&D lab, the goo can be best described by Newton’s theory of disappearing chocolate.
42. When can I have a robot butler?
Soon.
43. Is it true that the idea for the ‘Rolly Polly Crunchy Oats in a Sticky Wicky Coat’ originated from data collected from the large Hadron collider?
True. They repurposed the Hadron collider to smash a rolly and a polly together and the results speak for themselves…
44. Which is Brian O’Driscolls favourite Brodericks bar and can I have a box of them? And the wrappers when he’s done with them. And his address. Can you introduce me to BOD?
We’d love to do a Brian O’Driscoll bar but he stopped answering Bernard’s calls.
45. Will your bars make me a better husband?
Oh yes. Thats a no-brainer. Shower her with Broderick’s bars and she will love you for it. Remember, happy wife, happy life.
46. How many Brodericks bars will give me a six pack? What if I ate 4 more than that amount? Oh yeah…ten pack.
You bet.
47. What number am I thinking of?
Thirty six. The same number of items in the Broderick’s range.
48. Why is the distant universe so homogeneous when the Big Bang theory seems to predict larger measurable anisotropies of the night sky than those observed? And how does this affect your manufacturing process?
No clue. All we know is Barry comes up with fantastic new ideas when there’s a lunar or solar eclipse.
49. Is it true that Ann Chang Ho, the legendary founder of Korea, is your distant cousin?
True.
50. Does the prevalence of high frequency trading mean that I’m getting less chocolate than I paid for?
When you buy a Broderick’s bar, you always get more chocolate than you paid for.
51. Will the end of Game of Thrones be the start of the Broderick’s business?
Yes, keep an eye on Tyrion Lannister. His character becomes Bernard…
52. Did Einstein invent Caramental?
He did. He spent 40 years researching before publishing his work.
53. Was ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’ a movie franchise or a series of documentaries? If the latter was indeed the case can I sleep in your gaff tonight?
Absolutely, bring your duvet.